here in New Zealand, and there are lots of signs for them - 'kiwi crossing,' 'kiwi habitat, keep dogs on lead' - there are few signs of the long-beaked wormeater themselves. We've seen one so far, stuffed and under glass in the Auckland Museum.
However, the kiwi aside, the real star of the New Zealand animal show is the possum, introduced by the British from Australian in 1837. With 30 million of them now roaming the land - about 7 for every person - possums are the scourage of the country, chewing their way through native bush, including kiwi habitat, at a ferocious pace.
In some countries distances are ticked off by mile markers, however in New Zealand road distances are counted off by the bodies of fresh possums strewn across the highways and tufts of possum fur fused to the road from the passing cars. Up in the north where we are right now, the possum roadkill is thick and fast with a fur blob or fresh carcass every hundred metres.
And running down a possum on the highway here is national pastime sandwiched somewhere between rugby and cricket in the sporting heirarchy. Indeed it borders on being a national duty to swerving across the oncoming lane to bag yourself a fur ball and to don possum gloves and hats in the winter. It's good eating for the birds of prey too.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Future of Asia is Huge
I’ve seen it firsthand.
America and Europe don’t stand a chance in this battle for future global dominance while Canada and Australia best keep their heads down and continue to supply the fuel for the fire. I’m not talking about foreign reserves, trade balances [though how Australia has a negative trade balance is worth a separate post] and national and personal debt loads. No, I’m talking about BMI, girth, flab, middle spread, the battle for the widest people on the planet.
As one travels from Laos through Vietnam, Thailand, Malaysia to Singapore, incomes and waistlines expand with each border control. From the 50kg subsistence farming wraiths of northern Laos and Cambodia, to the ballooning urban populations of Saigon and their newly forming paunches, to the fast-food gobbling masses of the swanky half of Bangkok down through the Malay peninsula to the Singapore mum-cramming-it-in her-8-year-old-son’s-bursting-balloon-like-face, big change is afoot. Orchard Road in Singapore is like Grafton Street in post-Celtic Tiger Dublin on a Saturday afternoon. Strapping well-fed under 30 giants towering over their diminutive everyday-was-like-the-Great-Depression parents and grandparents.
To be sure, as with financial power, the lipid shift from West to East can be greatly exaggerated and the West hasn’t lost this eating contest yet. Singapore’s still got nothing on Chicago and its deep dish pizza, BBQ smokehouses and 3-metre sidewalks for double-wide pram pushing couples walking hand-in-hand. Or for that matter Shepherds Bush with its pint guzzling fireplugs downing fried chicken before a Queens Park Rangers match. But as with cars, electronics and IT-technology, in the battle for girth, Asia looks posited to leapfrog the West provided it can get an expanding leg over, and soon enough those circus big top relaxed fit Old Navy trousers won’t need to be exported to the American mid-west.
All eyes to the East – there are big things on the horizon.
America and Europe don’t stand a chance in this battle for future global dominance while Canada and Australia best keep their heads down and continue to supply the fuel for the fire. I’m not talking about foreign reserves, trade balances [though how Australia has a negative trade balance is worth a separate post] and national and personal debt loads. No, I’m talking about BMI, girth, flab, middle spread, the battle for the widest people on the planet.
As one travels from Laos through Vietnam, Thailand, Malaysia to Singapore, incomes and waistlines expand with each border control. From the 50kg subsistence farming wraiths of northern Laos and Cambodia, to the ballooning urban populations of Saigon and their newly forming paunches, to the fast-food gobbling masses of the swanky half of Bangkok down through the Malay peninsula to the Singapore mum-cramming-it-in her-8-year-old-son’s-bursting-balloon-like-face, big change is afoot. Orchard Road in Singapore is like Grafton Street in post-Celtic Tiger Dublin on a Saturday afternoon. Strapping well-fed under 30 giants towering over their diminutive everyday-was-like-the-Great-Depression parents and grandparents.
To be sure, as with financial power, the lipid shift from West to East can be greatly exaggerated and the West hasn’t lost this eating contest yet. Singapore’s still got nothing on Chicago and its deep dish pizza, BBQ smokehouses and 3-metre sidewalks for double-wide pram pushing couples walking hand-in-hand. Or for that matter Shepherds Bush with its pint guzzling fireplugs downing fried chicken before a Queens Park Rangers match. But as with cars, electronics and IT-technology, in the battle for girth, Asia looks posited to leapfrog the West provided it can get an expanding leg over, and soon enough those circus big top relaxed fit Old Navy trousers won’t need to be exported to the American mid-west.
All eyes to the East – there are big things on the horizon.
It took a dump on me
Off Gili Menos, a tiny, 1 km wide island, ringed by a coral reef and white sand beaches off the NW coast of Lombok, we plunged in from the outrigger with snorkels on.
Gliding 8 or 10 metres above the reef – the closest thing to flying except for this being water and probably nothing like flying – there it was at the edge where the reef plummeted away. A sea turtle. Graceful, green, reticulated, with flipper wings, turning slowly and fading towards the relentless blue of the deep off the reef. A few hard kicks with the fins and its back was only a body length from me – one more kick and it’d be able to touch it. And then it took a shit on me.
Lurid green, perfectly formed like a dog turd, slowly tumbling towards me like a depth charge off the stern of a WWII Corvette. A few slow motion underwater evasive manoeuvres and I was clear, the turd tumbling off below. But it was too late. The sea turtle was gone, fins flapping as it ghosted into the blue pixellated haze of the deep.
Gliding 8 or 10 metres above the reef – the closest thing to flying except for this being water and probably nothing like flying – there it was at the edge where the reef plummeted away. A sea turtle. Graceful, green, reticulated, with flipper wings, turning slowly and fading towards the relentless blue of the deep off the reef. A few hard kicks with the fins and its back was only a body length from me – one more kick and it’d be able to touch it. And then it took a shit on me.
Lurid green, perfectly formed like a dog turd, slowly tumbling towards me like a depth charge off the stern of a WWII Corvette. A few slow motion underwater evasive manoeuvres and I was clear, the turd tumbling off below. But it was too late. The sea turtle was gone, fins flapping as it ghosted into the blue pixellated haze of the deep.
Gunung Rinjani
It’s a sacred beast. A monster of a volcano, the second highest in Indonesia, and comprising the beating heart of Lombok. Sacred to the millions of Balinese across the Lombok Strait as the seat of the gods and a beast to anyone aiming for the summit.
At 3726m, the summit is a volcanic rock pyramid marking the highest part of the crater rim left behind when the 6 km high volcano exploded a million years ago. Hiking it is a 52 hour knee grinder if you are quick and the upper elevations a heart stopper for sea level dwellers.
For those who enjoy this sort of thing [you know who you are], below is the hike by the numbers. For those who don’t here is a short summary:
Short summary
Sembalun village, a guide named ‘Full,’ two men in flop flops with bamboo baskets carrying food and tents, 7 relentless hours up through savannah, heavy rain, cold wind, camp on black sand, eat, sleep, 2:30 am wake, contact lenses like glass shards in eyes, dark, still air, black sand and pumice treadmill to the summit, lava flowing in crater, glorious sunrise, Bali to west, shadow of Rinjani on the sea, elation, high fives, rapid plunge step decent, rest, eat, knee buster down to lake called Danau Segara Anak [Child of the Sea], hot sulphurous shower in hotsprings waterfall, rain, grunt up to crater rim, volcano belching ash on tents and food, full rainbow above, spectacular sunset lighting up the mountains, thunderheads over Bali, ‘Happy New Year’ at 8:30 pm and eyes closed, wake, eat, rainforest decent, temperature rising, 2 vertical km down over 8 km, relentless 25% grade, tree roots, weird fungi, park gate, coffee and banana plantation, Senaru village and a chair to sit in.
By the numbers for the hiking nerds
Day 1, 30 Dec 2009
Start: 9 am Sembalun village elevation 1000m
Camp: Crater rim at 2639m
Time: 7:06
Elevation gain: 1639 m
Elevation loss: nil
Day 2, 31 Dec 2009
Start: 3 am [up at 2:30 am - ouch]
Summit: 3726 m
Time: 4:58 [3 up 2 down]
Elevation gain: 1087
Elevation loss: 1087
Hike down to lake in crater: 2:20
Elevation loss: approx 600m
Hike up to crater rim to camp at 2641m: 2:36
Elevation gain: approx 600m
Total time: 9:55
Total elevation gain: 1687 m
Total elevation loss: 1687 m
Day 3, 1 Jan 2010
Start: Crater rim at 2641
Finish: Rinjani Park HQ, Senaru village at 600m elevation at 1 pm
Time: 5:23
Elevation gain: nil
Elevation loss: 2041m
Total trip time 52 hours, total hiking time 22:24
Total trip elevation gain: 3326 m
Total trip elevation loss: 3726 m
Total hours of rain: 5
Temp high: 29C
Temp low: 5C
Number of full rainbows: 1
Number of spewing volcanoes: 1
At 3726m, the summit is a volcanic rock pyramid marking the highest part of the crater rim left behind when the 6 km high volcano exploded a million years ago. Hiking it is a 52 hour knee grinder if you are quick and the upper elevations a heart stopper for sea level dwellers.
For those who enjoy this sort of thing [you know who you are], below is the hike by the numbers. For those who don’t here is a short summary:
Short summary
Sembalun village, a guide named ‘Full,’ two men in flop flops with bamboo baskets carrying food and tents, 7 relentless hours up through savannah, heavy rain, cold wind, camp on black sand, eat, sleep, 2:30 am wake, contact lenses like glass shards in eyes, dark, still air, black sand and pumice treadmill to the summit, lava flowing in crater, glorious sunrise, Bali to west, shadow of Rinjani on the sea, elation, high fives, rapid plunge step decent, rest, eat, knee buster down to lake called Danau Segara Anak [Child of the Sea], hot sulphurous shower in hotsprings waterfall, rain, grunt up to crater rim, volcano belching ash on tents and food, full rainbow above, spectacular sunset lighting up the mountains, thunderheads over Bali, ‘Happy New Year’ at 8:30 pm and eyes closed, wake, eat, rainforest decent, temperature rising, 2 vertical km down over 8 km, relentless 25% grade, tree roots, weird fungi, park gate, coffee and banana plantation, Senaru village and a chair to sit in.
By the numbers for the hiking nerds
Day 1, 30 Dec 2009
Start: 9 am Sembalun village elevation 1000m
Camp: Crater rim at 2639m
Time: 7:06
Elevation gain: 1639 m
Elevation loss: nil
Day 2, 31 Dec 2009
Start: 3 am [up at 2:30 am - ouch]
Summit: 3726 m
Time: 4:58 [3 up 2 down]
Elevation gain: 1087
Elevation loss: 1087
Hike down to lake in crater: 2:20
Elevation loss: approx 600m
Hike up to crater rim to camp at 2641m: 2:36
Elevation gain: approx 600m
Total time: 9:55
Total elevation gain: 1687 m
Total elevation loss: 1687 m
Day 3, 1 Jan 2010
Start: Crater rim at 2641
Finish: Rinjani Park HQ, Senaru village at 600m elevation at 1 pm
Time: 5:23
Elevation gain: nil
Elevation loss: 2041m
Total trip time 52 hours, total hiking time 22:24
Total trip elevation gain: 3326 m
Total trip elevation loss: 3726 m
Total hours of rain: 5
Temp high: 29C
Temp low: 5C
Number of full rainbows: 1
Number of spewing volcanoes: 1
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The Dancing Midget of Lombok
Lombok, the volcanic island east of Bali in Indonesia, has many sights to behold. It has villages of bamboo huts shaded by palm trees and fronted by beaches of multi-coloured outrigger fishing fleets. It has a huge, smoking volcano called Rinjani and apparently it also has rampant ‘illegal’ gold mining.
Lombok also has a beach town called Sengiggi, home to an open-air pub called Papaya with 2-for-1 Bintang beers during ‘Crazy Time’ from half nine to ten pm, and the tightest 7-piece cover band I’ve heard in years. The pub also has a dancing midget.
As the hulking Samoan keyboardist belts out Irene Cara’s Flash Dance hit ‘What a Feeling,’ all three and a half feet of him carves it up on the dance floor, cigarette in one hand, a fluttering bank note in the other and like a bandage, his head encased in a wide white headband emblazoned with the Japanese rising sun. The only other moving thing on the dance floor is a greying blonde perm in a black, bat-winged one-piece jumpsuit with a low V-neck framing a heavily wrinkled tan. With dance moves birthed when even I was wearing a narrow leather tie, from behind a pillar he’s playing ‘come-hither’ with a top heavy post-war German bombshell across the bar.
Next up for the 7-piece is Kool and the Gang. The midget slides effortlessly into a Usain Bolt running-on-the-spot move complete with cigarette and flapping bank note and the greying blonde perm is spinning his captured prey like a top.
It’s five minutes to ten and time for more Bintang. Crazy Time indeed
Lombok also has a beach town called Sengiggi, home to an open-air pub called Papaya with 2-for-1 Bintang beers during ‘Crazy Time’ from half nine to ten pm, and the tightest 7-piece cover band I’ve heard in years. The pub also has a dancing midget.
As the hulking Samoan keyboardist belts out Irene Cara’s Flash Dance hit ‘What a Feeling,’ all three and a half feet of him carves it up on the dance floor, cigarette in one hand, a fluttering bank note in the other and like a bandage, his head encased in a wide white headband emblazoned with the Japanese rising sun. The only other moving thing on the dance floor is a greying blonde perm in a black, bat-winged one-piece jumpsuit with a low V-neck framing a heavily wrinkled tan. With dance moves birthed when even I was wearing a narrow leather tie, from behind a pillar he’s playing ‘come-hither’ with a top heavy post-war German bombshell across the bar.
Next up for the 7-piece is Kool and the Gang. The midget slides effortlessly into a Usain Bolt running-on-the-spot move complete with cigarette and flapping bank note and the greying blonde perm is spinning his captured prey like a top.
It’s five minutes to ten and time for more Bintang. Crazy Time indeed
The happiest Christmas of all
In mid-December, while we were eating our way through the famous chicken rice emporiums of Melaka, Malaysia, the happiest Christmas of 2009 was, without a doubt, shaping up in Columbia, South Carolina.
How happy and why Columbia half a world away from SE Asia? Well, 4565.08-pounds-Sterling-on-my-Visa-card is how happy. Charged by a Columbia shopper giddy on the heady buzz of buying unaffordable big ticket swag on my stolen card number.
Twenty-three transactions on the 19th and 20th of December, just in time to pile the presents high under the tree. My personal favourites [aside from the 155.36 quid spent at the Ralph Lauren Factory outlet and two trips to the Polo shop which speaks volumes - what kind of try-hard-down-in-the-dumps Yuppie wears a stolen golf shirt?] are the nerdy 469.09 and 305.06 Gamestop purchases. How much Wii hardware does that buy?
But best of all though, the shopping spree was capped off by two ‘Food Fair’ transactions for 25.64 and 19.24. I hope they supersized the orders – it’s damn hungry work maxing out somebody else’s credit card.
How happy and why Columbia half a world away from SE Asia? Well, 4565.08-pounds-Sterling-on-my-Visa-card is how happy. Charged by a Columbia shopper giddy on the heady buzz of buying unaffordable big ticket swag on my stolen card number.
Twenty-three transactions on the 19th and 20th of December, just in time to pile the presents high under the tree. My personal favourites [aside from the 155.36 quid spent at the Ralph Lauren Factory outlet and two trips to the Polo shop which speaks volumes - what kind of try-hard-down-in-the-dumps Yuppie wears a stolen golf shirt?] are the nerdy 469.09 and 305.06 Gamestop purchases. How much Wii hardware does that buy?
But best of all though, the shopping spree was capped off by two ‘Food Fair’ transactions for 25.64 and 19.24. I hope they supersized the orders – it’s damn hungry work maxing out somebody else’s credit card.
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